Sunday, February 8, 2015

AHA - såre enkelt

Mon ikke du kender de der AHA-oplevelser?
Engang imellem hænder det, at jeg falder over et par sætninger, et udtryk, en linje i en bog, noget en eller anden siger, hvor jeg tænker...... 'Hold da op', sådan har jeg ikke lige tænkt på det.  Og så kan det være lige det, der gør, at jeg får øjnene op for en helt ny måde at tænke på.
Ikke sådan livsforandrende eller epokegørende nødvendigvis, men lige 'nyt' nok til at give en drejning i min tænkning.
   For nyligt deltog jeg i et seminar med Steinar Ditlefsen, Heart Power Speaker. Det var i sig selv meget, meget inspirerende at høre hans bud på, hvad der gør forskellen på, når man taler fra hjertet, og når man ikke gør.
Jeg fik mulighed for at gå på scenen i tre minutter, fortælle ganske kort og få feedback.
Jeg fortalte om dengang min mand blev syg og døde i løbet af 8 måneder, og hvordan det ændrede mit liv.
Dels sagde Steinar, at jeg er sjov..... Hmmm, medmindre det er for at skabe distance, så kan det jo være godt at få publikum til at grine. Det kan jeg godt lide.
Han spurgte mig derefter, hvordan jeg egentlig havde det i situation, da min mand døde.
Det er jo et øjeblik, jeg husker meget intenst, og derfor kunne jeg fortælle det med stor intensitet og nærvær.
Hans enkle spørgsmål gjorde en forskel.
Dels fik han mig til at fortælle lige det spadestik dybere fra mine følelser, end jeg tilsyneladende ellers gør.
   Jeg har hørt før, at jeg kunne blive mere inderlig, mere følende, mere mig, når jeg fortæller. Men jeg har gået med en overbevisning om, at 'det er lidt for privat', 'lidt for nærgående'. Samtidig med, at jeg har nydt, når andre fortæller om personlige oplevelser. Åbenhjertigt.
Mange har sagt, at jeg allerede 'fortæller fra hjertet', så nu har jeg undret mig over, hvad forskellen egentlig er.
   Resultatet af min grublen er, at jeg kan mærke mig selv på en anden måde, når jeg 'tør' fortælle fra mit indre landskab, når jeg tør fortælle, hvad jeg rent faktisk følte i de konkret situationer. Når det bliver dybt personligt uden at være privat.
   Og så er det vel såre enkelt, at når jeg kan mærke mig selv, så kan publikum også mærke mig.

Hvad tænker du?

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Tag fat i historien

   Igen og igen forundres jeg over, hvordan det kan gå til, at vi er så mange, der har 'ondt i livet' på den ene eller den anden måde.
   Vi behøver ikke at være 'særligt sensitive', 'psykisk sårbare' eller hvad det nu hedder. Jeg kan ikke følge med i alle de diagnoser, der efterhånden er kommet. Men jeg kan mærke, se og høre, at mange mennesker har begrænsninger, noget der gør ondt, noget der forhindrer os i at gøre det, som vi ellers brænder for. Der er selvfølgelig stor forskel på graden af smerte og uro. Men tankerne alene kan skabe uro i kroppen og forhindre os i at gøre ting, vi egentlig har lyst til.

   Min egen personlige udvikling begyndte helt konkret at tage fart i slutningen af 1980'erne, da jeg deltog i en såkaldt 'drømmegruppe'. En gestaltpsykolog ledede en lille gruppe af kvinder, der havde lyst til at lære at tyde vores drømme. For mig var det så nyt og grænseoverskridende, at jeg skulle 'udlevere mig selv' i gruppen, at jeg ikke sagde noget vigtigt i lang tid. Jeg vidste ikke, at alle drømmene handlede om mig selv og forskellige sider af min psyke. Men gennem arbejdet med billeder, samtaler og terapi i gruppen, fik jeg efterhånden færten af, at jeg havde fat i noget meget udviklende og livsforvandlende.
  Det har altid været grænseoverskridende for mig at fortælle om ine inderste tanker og følelser, men efterhånden er jeg blevet opfordret til at dele ud af mine erfaringer så mange gange, at jeg springer ud på dybt vand med denne blog.

   Min overbevisning dengang var, at jeg bestemt ikke skulle afsløre over for de andre, hvor utilstrækkelig og uduelig jeg var i forhold til dem. Jeg kunne nemlig ikke andet end at sammenligne mig med dem. Jeg så op til dem, jeg beundrede deres ro. Når de fortalte om deres problemer og udfordringer i tilværelsen, kunne jeg godt tro på dem, selv om det var svært for mig.
  Jeg undrede mig. For de virkede så afklarede, de var så kloge og indsigtsfulde. Jeg lærte dog hurtigt, at det mest var udenpå, de var rolige. Indeni blæste orkaner, og somme tider var de også ved at vælte omkuld. Men det gjorde dem ikke mindre værdige i mine øjne. Mit eget mindreværd var dog mere fastlåst, og der skulle gå mange, mange år, før jeg endelig begyndte at tro på at jeg nok ikke var så uduelig, som jeg følte det.

   En af måderne til at få nedtonet mit mindreværd har været at arbejde med min livshistorie, gennem kendskabet til NLP (Neuro Lingvistisk programmering), gennem hypnose og gennem Core Dynamics Coaching og masser af selvhjælpsbøger, YouTube klip og gode samtaler.
Det er efterhånden blevet lidt af en floskel, men jeg vil stadig hævde, at 'det aldrig er for sent at få en lykkelig barndom'.

 Når jeg får opløst min smerte og får lyttet til de gode mennesker, som ikke kan forstå, at jeg har kæmpet med mit selvværd, så begynder ændringen at komme ganske langsomt. Jeg kan tænke på de episoder i mit liv, der ikke har været nemme, men jeg får ikke længere ondt i maven af det.
Det er en historie, jeg har fortalt mig selv. Nu er det på tide at få ryddet op i de gamle historier og forvandle dem til energi og overskud.

En simpel øvelse
1) Vær opmærksom på, når du mærker en smerte i kroppen.
     Det kan være et sug i maven, et stik i hjertet eller et andet lille signal om, at noget er uroligt.
2) Luk øjnene og fornem, hvor følelsen sidder i kroppen helt præcist.
3) Hvis der kommer tanker, uanset om de forstyrrer eller ej, så lad dem 'flyde forbi'.
4) Mærk følelsen fuldt ud, bliv i den, indtil den er helt væk.
5) Tag nogle dybe vejrtrækninger og nyd din nye tilstand.
Kig evt. op i himlen for at løfte din energi.

   Jeg har følt det nødvendigt at søge hjælp udefra mange gange. Ligesom helten i eventyrene. Når han/hun ikke kan finde vej, når modstanden føles for voldsom, så skal der komme en hjælper og lede ham/hende videre.
Derved har jeg lært, at når jeg ikke kan se skoven for bare træer, så er det nødvendigt at ændre perspektiv og få hjælp til at få vendt mine tanker og følelser med andre.
Jeg kan ikke klare al oprydning i mine historier selv.

Nu er det en glæde for mig at kunne dele mine erfaringer og derved hjælpe andre med at få det bedre. Jeg har fundet ud af, at jeg har en særlig evne til at hjælpe andre, og derfor stiller jeg min ekspertise til rådighed for mine kunder.
   Hvis du tænker, at du kan bruge min erfaring, så kontakt mig på 30254774.
www.mariannechristensen.dk

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Til alle enker

Da min far døde for mange år siden, fik jeg dette smukke digt fra en veninde i USA.
Da min mand døde for tre år siden, læste jeg det igen.
Jeg har intet ønske om at følge hurtigt efter.... livet er smukt.
Men jeg holder af digtet, og vil gerne dele det.
Der er mange ting, man kan fortryde, når man pludselig mister sin ægtefælle. Men som en klog kone sagde til mig: 'Hvis du skulle have gjort noget anderledes, så skulle du have været en anden person. Det var du jo ikke. Du er den, du er. Og det er ok.'

You and I
If we could know
which of us, darling, would be the first to go,
who would be first to breast the swelling tide
and step alone upon the other side...
if we could know!

If it were you,
should I walk softly, keeping death in view?
Should I my love to you more oft express?
Or should I grieve you, darling, any less
if it were you?

If it were I, should I improve the moments slipping by?
Should I more closely follow God's great plan?
Be filled with sweeter charity to man -
if it were I?
If we could know?

If we could know---
We cannot, darling, and 'tis better so.
I should forget, just as I do today
and walk along the same old stumbling way
if I could know.

I would not know
which of us, darling, will be first to go.
I only wish the space may not be long
between the parting and the greeting song:
But when or how or where we're called to go -
I would not know.
Julie H May

Monday, March 19, 2012

Changing lives


I often think about this phrase: 'It changed my life.' 
But how can we even talk about changing a life, since (I believe) we do not know in advance how our life is going to be?
I have used this phrase myself many times, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that it is not the right way for me to talk about the work, we're doing.
Maybe this is just a matter of words, but I am considering saying different things about changes. 
For example: 'This story made me change my mind', or 'This story changed the way I think about myself, gave me an insight, made me think differently about a certain situation in my history' etc. etc.

What do you think about this?
What do say about the effect of your work?
How do you express when you experience changes in your mind after having heard a great story?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Body, Voice and skills of the storyteller

That is the title of a two weeks course I am attending now at The International School of Storytelling in Forest Row.

It is amazing to experience how our teacher Olivia Olson is working to release tensions in our bodies to make our voice come out at its best!
How can a tension in a knee influence the sound of your voice?
To people who already work with voice and body, this is obvious. But for people who are not used to having awareness of their bodies this is great news.

We're working many hours every day, and through exercises of contacting different parts of our bodies we can hear step by step how the voices change. They get more resonans and sound better, more authentic.
It is a strange experience to hear one's own vocie sound different, but I think we get used to it.

We all got a poem to work with. Olivia had selected the poem after our round of introduction the first day.

I was watching Olivia helping another participant through working with the poem release som old tension and feelings, hearing the person cry it out and afterwards sounding very different. Olivia saw the tension in the person's legs, and she grapped them, shook them and had the person rolling on the floor, gently.
One of the secrets are to giv in to the weight of the body, to let go, just sink in to the floor. And breathe!

Again I was thinking about how this work with storytelling helps transform people and actually heal people.
This course is specifically about the body and voice, but the words in the poem mean something to us.
Words are very powerful!

Why is it healing
I realized that through the poems and the stories we get confronted with forgotten or suppressed feelings and emotions, that we for many different reasons do not 'want' to work with.

When we give in to the weight of our body, the weight of the words in our mind, then feelings pop up. We may have the habit to shut them down again, and to quickly 'put the lid on the pot'.
When we break that habit and let the feelings flow freely without judgement they can rinse through our body, like a stream, and be washed out with our tears.
Thus we set a lot of energy free and softness happens in the muscles and joints. We feel more space inside the body.

Many people are scared of feeling their emotions, perhaps because it actually hurts when emotions are labelled 'bad'. But emotions cannot be labelled as bad or good. Emotions are emotions.
Taking the risk, going through the pain and do the work, let the tears come, is a very rewarding thing to do. Afterwards the body feels a lot better, the voice is softer, eyes are shining differently and we can feel more grounded in ourselves.
Then we can own our feelings and emotions in a totally new and released way.

This is at least one way of seeing why stories are healing.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

What did we learn

After the 13 weeks of working with stories, playing games, singing, dancing and enjoying the wonderful work, we were asked to say in few words what we learned from the course.
Here is the result:

I have learned that storytelling is a deep process
but at the same time light and colourful

I have learned to speak from my heart and believe that when I do,
it can be a great gift to somebody

I have learned that storytelling is playful
and has true direction

I have learned to follow my personal pathway

I have learned how to get out of my own way

I have learned that a journey in storytelling
is a voyage in life

I have learned to serve the story
of becoming a human being

I have learned that storytelling is like a delicious box of chocolates,
with so many tasty and nourishing choices inside;
each centre being unique and different.

We have learned that storylights shine!

Our last performance was called Story lights.
And that is what stories do, They light!
 
And there are many more courses to join at The International School of Storytelling

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

13 weeks gone

After 13 weeks in a storytelling environment it is quite strange to be back home.
Enjoyable though.

I have not been writing as often as I thought I would. The experience at The International School of storytelling meant that there was a lot of homework, and we spent a lot of time swopping stories, preparing for storytelling evenings and for the final performance.

What did I get out of staying there for The Now of Storytelling?
Welll, a lot!
I learned many new stories.
I practiced performing in English.
I learned a lot about training and playing.
I had wonderful teachers.
I met a group of wonderful people whom I wish to stay in contact with.
I learned to set intentions and that sometimes the question is the answer! Thank you Roi.

I decided to tell the wondertale 'Jorinda and Joringel' for my final performance.
I struggled with it a lot, but it turned out alright.
I changed some things in the story, added a little of what I've learned from life, and that helped me.

In the beginning one of our teachers, Ashley Ramsden, said something like: You never know where or when during this course you'll hear a sentence, a word or a conversation, where you'll find the whole meaning of your stay here.

I had that experience two days before I left.
In telling my story I added something about the pain one can feel when missing somebody.
Next day I talked to a listener who told me, that exactly that had been a healing gift to her.
That kind of feedback is very important.
So I learned that when I truly speak from my heart the story can be a great gift.
Gifts are needed in the world, and I am looking forward to continue my work with storytelling as a healing art.

I am going back to the International School of Storytelling for more courses in spring 2011.
I have resigned from my job as a teacher, and I will from now on work full time on telling stories, help people in counselling through the gift of stories and continue to be available for whomever need help from my experience as a storyteller, counsellor and therapist.

With this I wish all readers a merry holiday season.
Comments are welcome.